Claiming Grace (Ace Security Book 1) Read online

  God. He made her feel so many things. Anger because she realized she was upset that he’d given up on her so easily back then. He made her feel safe too . . . she had no doubt Logan would protect her. Anticipation as she wondered where their relationship might go from here. And desire. Oh yeah, now that she was older and wiser, she definitely wanted to experience all that was Logan Anderson in bed. Logan put his hand on her nape and pulled her into his chest. Grace sighed and wrapped her arms around him. It was amazing how good she felt when he did this.

  “This isn’t going to be easy,” he warned. “I don’t know what your parents want, but they’ve got power and influence. It’s going to be hard to get people to see them as the monsters they obviously are.”

  Grace inhaled and relaxed further into Logan’s embrace. She knew she should be worried about her parents, but she couldn’t make herself care at the moment. She was warm, her belly was full for the first time in many days, and she was with Logan. The boy-no, man-she’d once thought she’d end up marrying.

  “You still awake?”

  “Mmmmm.”

  Logan chuckled lightly. “Okay, come on sleeping beauty.” He steered her toward the small bathroom in the hallway outside the bedroom. “There’s an extra toothbrush on the counter and I’ll go grab a T-shirt for you to sleep in. I’m sure Felicity will be around tomorrow with your own clothes. We’ll make do until then.”

  Grace nodded and let go of him reluctantly. She brushed her teeth and scrubbed her arms, wanting a shower, but wanting to sleep more. She changed into the huge T-shirt Logan brought her, smiling at the Army logo on the front.

  When she finally wandered out of the bathroom, Logan was leaning against the wall waiting for her.

  “Feel better?”

  She shrugged, exhausted. “I don’t know why I’m so tired. It’s not like I’ve done a whole lot recently.”

  Logan’s arm went around her waist and pulled her into his side as he walked them back to the guest bedroom. “It’s probably a lot of things. Adrenaline wearing off, the fact that you know you’re safe here, and you have some food in your stomach. You’ll feel more like yourself in the morning.”

  Grace let him lead her back into the room, surprised to see the bedding had been pulled back. Logan had obviously gone out of his way to make her comfortable. She climbed onto the mattress and smiled when Logan tucked her in.

  He sat next to her hip on the bed and leaned over her, his hands resting next to her arms. “I put your letters on the nightstand.” Logan gestured to the small table next to the bed.

  Grace glanced over and saw the letters she’d written to him, still tied up in their ribbon, lying safely next to her. She looked back up at Logan. “You want to read them?”

  “Yes.” She saw sincerity and eagerness in his eyes. He wanted to see what she’d written to him all those years ago as badly as she wanted to read what he’d said to her.

  He continued as if he could read her mind, “And I want you to read the ones I wrote you. Although I have to warn you, the letters I sent toward the end aren’t as nice as the ones in the beginning. I was . . . upset.”

  Grace wiggled until she had one arm free of the covers and put it on his arm. “It’s okay. I understand. My mother told me she kept the last one you sent and recited it to me.”

  Logan winced, and she hurried to reassure him. “It’s okay. Really. I understand. I was upset too. You’ll see when you read mine.”

  “I’m sorry you had to hear it from her, though,” Logan said, his eyes going soft as he gazed down at her. “I want you to know that I absolutely wrote to you. That I wasn’t lying about wanting you to come and stay with me once I got to my first duty station.”

  “I believe you.”

  “You should know that the feelings I had for you back then haven’t died, Smarty. I was upset when I never heard from you, I admit it, but it was because I knew I’d lost something precious.” He brought his hand up and traced her eyebrow, then ran the backs of his fingers down her cheek. “We’ve lost so much, but Grace, we’ve also gotten a second chance. I’m not going to let anyone come between us again. If we decide we don’t suit, then that’s on us. No one else.”

  Grace understood and liked what he’d said. A lot. And told him so. “I like that.” Her heart sped up when Logan leaned down to her. He brushed his lips over hers in a too-short caress before sitting up again.

  “Good night, Grace. I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep as long as you need.”

  “I’ll be up early. My mother likes to be up and get her day started. She trained me well.”

  “She’s not here now. You can sleep in,” Logan said seriously.

  Grace smiled at him. “I’ll try, but don’t be surprised if I’m up at five thirty. My body is used to it.”

  Logan mock-groaned and raised his eyes to the ceiling as if looking for divine intervention. “A morning person. Lord help me. That’s the one thing I really don’t miss about the Army.” He brought his eyes back to hers and leaned down again, kissing her forehead this time.

  “Thank you for coming to get me, Logan,” Grace whispered.

  “You’re welcome, Smarty. Sleep well.”

  “You too.”

  Logan sighed and stood up. He didn’t look back, but strode to the door, turning out the light on his way and leaving without another word. He closed the door most of the way, leaving it open a crack. Grace turned on her side and smiled. How he knew she couldn’t be shut inside another room, especially since she hadn’t known it until right that second, was beyond her. All it would take was her calling out his name, and she knew Logan would be at her side within seconds.

  She hadn’t thought she’d be able to sleep, but she’d underestimated her body’s need to rejuvenate itself. Grace was asleep in minutes.

  She never heard Logan push open the door an hour later.

  She never knew he stood watching her sleep for several minutes.

  She didn’t hear him come over to the side of her bed or feel his hand brush over her head in a soft caress.

  She didn’t hear him place something on the bedside table next to her.

  She especially never heard his soft whispered words as he bent over her.

  “I’m sorry, Grace. Letters be damned, I should’ve come for you.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Grace woke up confused. It was still dark outside and she wasn’t sure where she was. Sitting up quickly, it came back to her. All of it. Her parents severing her last hope of ever being a daughter they could be proud of. Being chained to her bed. Logan, his brothers, the food he’d gotten for her, his apartment.

  Looking at the clock, Grace saw that it was 5:43 in the morning. She mentally shrugged. Even though she’d been tired, as she’d warned Logan, habits were hard to break. She threw the covers back, moved her legs to the side of the bed, and clicked on the small table lamp next to the bed. Squinting against the bright light, she didn’t immediately understand what she was seeing, but as soon as her vision adjusted, she froze.

  The letters she’d written to Logan were still where they’d been when she’d gone to sleep, but now there was a second stack next to them. She reached out a trembling hand to pick it up.

  This pile of letters was wrapped up with a rubber band, unlike her batch, which was lovingly preserved with a ribbon. Grace looked down at the envelope on top of the stack.

  It was addressed to her, and the return address was a military one. Her eyes filled with tears. Logan’s writing was slanted and messy, as if he’d quickly dashed it off. She could imagine him trying to hurry and get it addressed so he didn’t get in trouble with a drill sergeant.

  But it was the garish words written in block letters across the bottom that made the tears in her eyes spill over.

  RETURN TO SENDER

  Grace recognized her mother’s handwriting right away. It was one thing to know that her mother had purposely kept Logan’s letters from her, but it was another to have the proof in her hands
and see it for herself.

  Grace swiveled her hips and plumped the pillows up behind her, leaning back against the headboard.

  The postmark on the first letter was only a week after he’d left all those years ago. With hands that shook with emotion, Grace carefully pulled the first letter out of the stack, leaving the rubber band in place. She turned the precious envelope over in her hands. It hadn’t been opened. Closing her eyes, Grace imagined Logan licking it closed and smiling at the thought of her reading it. It hurt. A lot. But it also felt good. He’d written. She kept thinking those two words. She couldn’t help it.

  Feeling excitement she hadn’t felt in years, Grace turned the plain white envelope over and put one finger under the edge of the flap. She carefully opened the letter she should’ve received so long ago. The letter was short and to the point and sounded so much like Logan she couldn’t help but smile.

  Grace,

  Thank you for coming to the bus station with me. I just started Basic yesterday and my drill sergeant is obviously related to the devil himself. :) I have a lot to tell you, but I wanted to keep my promise and get a note off to you as soon as I could so you would have my address.

  I can’t wait to hear from you.

  More later,

  Logan

  Grace finally gave in to the feelings inside her and sobbed. Great heaving sobs that came from the depths of her soul. His letter wasn’t mushy, wasn’t declaring his love for her, but he’d done as he’d promised. It made her chest ache thinking about all the lost time.

  Ten minutes later, face blotchy from her tears, her nose running from her crying fit, Grace carefully put the letter back into the envelope and set it aside. She then reached for the next one. It was a bit longer than the first.

  Grace,

  I have a bit more time to write today. I know I haven’t given my first letter time enough to get to you yet, but when I think about all that’s happened in the last couple of days, there wasn’t anyone I wanted to tell more than you.

  Basic training is tough, but I love it . . . besides the being neat thing. I hate having to fold my clothes a certain way, and making my bed every day is just stupid since no one sees our bunks but us, and we fall into them exhausted at the end of the day.

  Our daily schedule is very monotonous. We get up, do PT (physical training), then we eat. Then we work out more and go to some classes. Then we have lunch and get yelled at for being too slow, or too fast, or for not paying attention. (Our drill sergeants yell at us for anything and everything, even if they have to make it up.) We then usually do some sort of team-building crap, then more classes (shooting, hand-to-hand combat, Army values, etc.), then dinner and one more workout. Then we have to clean the barracks, even though the floors are already spotless.

  It all seems pointless to me, but I get why. They need to break down what we might think being in the Army is all about, then bring us back up together, get us working as a team. I understand it, but it’s still annoying. I’d much rather be sitting next to you in the library, Smarty, listening to you talk about dead presidents or something. :)

  I wanted to let you know I was serious when I told you I wanted to see where a relationship between us could go. I should’ve asked you out this past year, but I knew I was leaving and that I’m not good enough for you. Not to mention, I wasn’t 100 percent sure if you liked me or not. One day I’d think you were as into me as I was you, and the next you’d act distant. I should’ve just manned up and asked you out. Sorry. Being away from you and not being able to talk to you every day has really made it obvious (to me) how much I like you.

  I like the way you smell, the way you’re always so serious, the way you listen to me, and how you tried to take care of me when I came to school with a welt from my mom. I’m doing my best to make myself a better person. The kind of person you might want to be with. Joining the Army was a way to get out of Castle Rock, but I also knew that if we were ever to have a chance together, I’d need a career so I could take care of you.

  That sounds corny as hell, and I probably would never have the guts to tell you in person, but it’s easier to say in a letter.

  Well, my fifteen minutes of free time is over, the DS is yelling at us, “Get your goat-smelling asses out front in ten minutes.” (Not lying about that, it’s a direct quote! Lol.) I’m going to put this in the mail this afternoon.

  I can’t wait to hear from you. I miss you.

  Logan

  And so it went. Grace devoured every word on every page of every letter. Eventually the tone of Logan’s letters changed from eager anticipation of her letters to confusion about why he hadn’t heard from her.

  Grace-

  It’s been two months since I left and I’m worried about you. I know you keep returning my letters, but I don’t know why.

  Please, don’t send this one back. I need to know that you’re okay.

  If you don’t want me to write, just let me know. It might kill me, but I’ll stop.

  I hope that’s not it. I want to see you. I long to hear from you. Please.

  Logan

  Eventually the letters lost their innocent and loving tone. Grace held the last letter in her hand and took a deep breath. She was almost afraid to open it, but knew she needed to. She unfolded the last letter and took a deep breath, bracing herself. But his words were not what she expected.

  Grace-

  Please. Please talk to me. Why are you doing this to us? I thought we had something good. I wanted you to come and live with me. I know I’ve been an asshole in the past, but I love you. God, that sounds pathetic when we haven’t even made love, but I’ve thought of you and how you’d feel in my arms. I’ve dreamed about us waking up in the mornings and laughing together. You’re all I can think about, and I’m worried sick about you. Are you all right? Are you sick? Is that why you haven’t written? Just one letter. That’s all I ask. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please, write me back and let me know you’re okay.

  All my love,

  Logan

  Grace had thought this letter would be full of accusations and angry words, instead his concern for her leaped off the page and into her heart. Even though every letter he’d written had been returned, unopened, he hadn’t given up on her.

  She looked at the postmark. Eleven months. He’d written to her for eleven months before he’d given up.

  For the first time in a long time when Grace thought about her parents, she wasn’t scared or worried about what they felt about her. But now she was angry. Pissed the hell off. How dare her mother meddle in her life the way she did. How dare she reduce Logan to begging and make him question her feelings for him. He’d said he loved her, and Grace hadn’t had the chance to return his words. Or to reassure him. Or anything.

  She carefully bundled the letters back together. Even if she was pissed, those letters meant the world to her. After placing them carefully back on the table next to her, she snatched up the letters she’d written to Logan and stalked out of the room.

  Enough morning light was coming into the apartment that Grace could see where she was going. She stomped down the hall to Logan’s room. She opened the door, not even considering she might be intruding on his privacy.

  Her eyes on the lump in front of her, Grace walked over and sat heavily on the side of his bed.

  The second her butt made contact with the mattress, Logan moved. He grabbed her around the waist and flipped her over his body until she lay on her back next to him. She kept hold of the bundle of letters she’d carried into the room, clutching them to her chest as Logan moved her. She gasped as he loomed over her. One hand was at her neck and the other held her arm over her head.

  The second he realized who was under him, he immediately loosened his grip, but didn’t let go of her altogether, and swore. “Fuck, Grace. Don’t ever sneak up on me. Are you all right? Did I hurt you? Shit.”

  “I’m okay, Logan. Sorry. I didn’t realize.”

  “Please. Don’t startle me when I�
�m asleep. Ever. I could’ve hurt you.”

  “Is it because of your Army training?” she asked, looking up at him fretfully.

  He ran a hand over his face, the sound of his five o’clock shadow loud against his palm. “Partly. And partly because my mom used to come into our rooms in the middle of the night and start hitting us for whatever made-up reason she had at the time.”

  “Damn. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Grace rubbed her hand up and down his arm, trying to soothe him.

  Logan tilted his head and asked, “What’s wrong? Why are you here? Are you okay?”

  She’d been scared for a moment at Logan’s quick actions, but now she was pissed all over again. “My mother is a bitch,” she declared as if he didn’t already know it. “Seriously. I knew she wasn’t mother of the year, but hiding your letters from me was horrible.”

  Logan’s lips quirked up into a small smile before saying unnecessarily, “You read my letters.”

  “Yeah, I read them. She made you doubt yourself. She upset you. Dammit, she made you beg. I know I don’t really know you, but the man I knew back then didn’t beg. Here,” Grace pressed the bundle of letters she’d been clutching into his chest. “Read mine. Now. Every one.”

  Logan covered her hand holding the letters to his chest with the hand that had been in her hair and leaned down into her, smiling tenderly. “Can I get up and shower and have a cup of coffee first?”

  “No!” Grace shook her head. “You have to read them. Immediately.”