Protecting Jessyka (SEAL of Protection) (Volume 6) Page 17

  “I’m okay,” Jess whispered back.

  Benny nodded and rested his forehead against the small pooch of her belly for a moment. Finally, he took a deep breath and pulled back an inch. He took hold of her panties on each side of her hips and drew them down her legs. He held Jess steady as she stepped out of them.

  Benny stood up fully and wrapped his arm around her waist again and helped her to the side of the bathtub. Not allowing her to step over the deep side of the tub because he knew it would only cause her pain, Benny lifted her bodily into the shower. He closed the curtain after he stepped in with her and eased them both back until the water was hitting Jess’s lower back.

  He put both hands up to the side of her head and gently tipped it back until the water was running over her head. “Close your eyes, Jess, let me wash away the night.”

  Benny felt Jess melt into his hold. He gently squirted some of her shampoo into his hand and lathered up her hair. He washed and rinsed her hair twice before working in a handful of conditioner.

  While the conditioner was doing its thing, Benny turned Jessyka until her front was facing the warm spray of water. When she went to protest, Benny shushed her with his words. “Let me, gorgeous. Let me clean you.”

  Jess nodded and Benny squirted some of his body wash into his hands. He needed her to smell like him. He wanted to rub a small piece of himself into her skin. He ran his hands over her chest and belly, then moved to her arms and hands. He carefully ran his soapy hands over her neck and face, making sure to leave not one inch of the skin that had been sprayed with Brian’s blood unclean. Squirting more soap into his hands, he then moved to her legs. He briskly cleaned her sex, then rubbed her back. Once Benny was convinced Jess was clean and there wasn’t one speck of Brian’s blood left on her, he turned her back around and gently rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.

  Then while Jess stood in the spray of the water, Benny quickly ran soap over his own body, not bothering to watch what he was doing, he kept his eyes locked on Jess. He took a step toward her and she stepped back until the water was hitting Benny, and not her. After a quick rinse, Benny reached around Jess and turned off the water. He then pulled her into his side again and opened the shower curtain.

  He grabbed a towel and dried every inch of Jessyka’s body before wrapping the towel around her. He lifted her out of the tub.

  Benny watched as she turned to the sink and picked up her toothbrush. He wiped himself down quickly and then wrapped the towel around his own waist. Benny picked up his own toothbrush and followed Jess’s lead. When they were ready, he took both their towels and threw them on the floor of the bathroom, not caring if they sat in a wet heap on the floor all night, he picked Jess up as he had in the park. He put both arms around her and lifted her up until her feet were off the ground and clasped her to him. Her front to his front, then carried her into the bedroom. He gently put her down, pulled back the covers and encouraged Jess to climb in. He followed behind her after turning off the overhead light.

  It was now nearing dawn. Between the kidnapping, her running through the park, being rescued, and then being questioned by the police, the morning sky was slowly lightening as the sun made its way across the globe.

  Benny wrapped both arms around Jess and pulled her to him. She buried her face into his chest and went to wrap one leg around his.

  “No, Jess, I don’t want any strain on that hip.”

  Benny put his own leg around hers instead, and pulled her into his body.

  They were both quiet for a moment, enjoying the feel of each other’s body, skin to skin. Jess broke the silence. “I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel this again.”

  “I can’t decide if I want to beat your ass for everything you did tonight or make love to you until the only thing you can feel and think about, is me.”

  “Do I get a choice? I choose door number two.”

  Benny smiled for a moment at her words, then got serious again. “Seriously, Jess, I think you took ten years off my life when I saw him push you into that clearing. He threatened to kill you if I didn’t do exactly what he said. I bided my time, thinking I’d be able to get away after he got me where he wanted me. I didn’t know exactly who was behind tying my ass to that tree, he had me blindfolded as he led me out there, until I saw him shove you to the ground in front of me. What the hell were you thinking?”

  Jess didn’t even raise her head, but instead snuggled closer to Kason and his arms got even tighter around her. “He sent me a picture of you bleeding and unconscious.”

  Without letting her continue, Benny barked, “So?”

  Jess finally lifted her head at that. “So?”

  “Yeah, so? Jess, I’m a SEAL. There’s nothing you could’ve done, as a civilian, to help me.”

  “That’s not exactly true.” Jess was getting mad now. “You’re not invincible, Kason. No one knew you were gone. No one knew where you were. Only some asshole who took your picture while you were unconscious and bleeding and sent it to me. Tex couldn’t find you in the middle of a fucking forest for God’s sake with nothing to go on. I knew I was tracked. I knew he could find me. I figured if I could get to you, you’d figure something out and Tex could rescue both of us. I didn’t know you’d be all tied up without any damn shoes on.”

  She hiccupped and continued, obviously on a roll. Benny just let her get it out. Jess was so damn cute when she was riled up. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of watching her.

  “I knew Brian was an asshole, but I didn’t know he was that much of an asshole. I did the only thing I could think of. He wasn’t going to let me just waltz on out of there. It’s not like I could’ve said, ‘Hey, I’m just going to take my bra off because it has a tracking device in it.’ Dammit, Kason, what the hell are you smiling at?”

  “I love you, Jess.”

  Jess stopped mid-rant and stared at Kason. Her face crumpled and she bit out, “Oh fuck.”

  Benny smiled tenderly at her and pulled her into his chest again.

  “I love you so much, Kason. I was so worried about you.”

  Benny heard her words mumbled in his chest and he put one hand on the back of her head and caressed her.

  “I know, gorgeous, I love you too.”

  “I d-d-didn’t know what to do.”

  “You were amazing.”

  “You weren’t wearing any s-s-shoes,” Jess wailed, obviously having reached her breaking point. “They were r-r-raping T-T-Tabitha.”

  “I know, I’m so sorry.”

  “I d-d-didn’t know, Kason. I swear I didn’t.”

  “Of course you didn’t, Jess. I’d never think that about you.

  “I made all that stuff up that I told him.”

  “Jess. Hush. I know.”

  “He was going to go back and kill you. He s-s-said he was going to make me put a b-b-bullet in your head. Then he said he was going to r-r-rape Caroline and fuck the other girls. I didn’t want his filth to touch them. I didn’t want you to d-d-die.” Jess lifted her head and looked Kason in the eye. “I killed him. I hit him with that cement block. Then I did it again. I didn’t stop even when he was on the ground and not moving. All I could see was Tabitha, and you, and Cheyenne and the others . . . I’m not sorry. I’d do it again if I had to.”

  Benny reached up and took Jess’s head in his hands and held her still. He saw her red-rimmed eyes and her running nose. She’d never looked more beautiful. “Good for you. I’m so fucking proud of you, I can’t stand it. You didn’t back down, you thought on your feet and you did what you had to do. I’m not thrilled you were out there in the first place and that you put yourself out there though. I’m sorry as hell I couldn’t rescue or protect you, but you did it for yourself. I fucking love you so damn much.”

  Benny kissed Jess once, hard, then drew back, not letting go of her head. “I’m sorry you had to kill him, I’d never want that on your conscience, but I’m not sorry he’s gone.”

  Jess bit her lip, then pouted. “I didn�
�t get my night you promised me.”

  With her words, Benny knew Jess was going to be all right. He didn’t see any angst in her eyes at taking Brian’s life. He knew it might hit her later and she might feel remorseful, but he was thankful she wasn’t broken as a result. He’d still suggest she get counseling until they were both a hundred percent sure she was okay, but for now he was relieved as all get out that she seemed to be okay. Benny kissed her forehead and brought her back into his hold. “You’ll get your night, gorgeous. I promise.” After a beat he asked, “How much pain are you in?”

  “On a scale of one to ten?” Jess asked groggily, snuggling deeper into his arms.

  “Yeah, on a scale of one to ten.”

  “Around a twelve.”

  Benny made a distraught sound in his throat and made like he was going to get out of bed.

  “If you move one inch I’m going to have to hurt you,” Jess grumbled, tightening her arms around him. “Yes, I hurt. But all I want to do is lie here with you. Feel you against me. I didn’t know if I’d ever have this again. I took the pills, they’ll kick in soon enough. I’ll be okay. Please, Kason. Give me this. I need this. I promise I’ll feel better when we get up. I haven’t run in years and my body is reminding me why I shouldn’t go on long romantic walks or run through the woods away from a crazy psychotic asshole. Please? Just hold me?”

  “If it’s not better later, you’re going to the doctor.”

  “Promise. Thank you. I love you.”

  “And I love you too, gorgeous.” Benny kissed her on the top of the head. “Sleep. Tomorrow, well later today, we’ll start the rest of our lives together.”

  “That sounds good.”

  Benny held Jessyka as she fell asleep. He knew they had a lot to figure out in the next few days. The team had to give their statements to the police. Jess would have to continue to deal with the legal ramifications of having killed Brian. Benny didn’t think it’d be an issue based on how Brian had hurt her before. Benny also hoped there would be some evidence in his townhouse about his drug activities.

  They’d also have to deal with Tammy. If what Brian had told Jessyka was true, she was just as guilty in the pimping out of her daughter as Brian was. Benny also knew Jess would have to psychologically deal with everything she’d learned that night. They’d spent the last few hours hyped up on adrenaline and he knew she hadn’t had time to process everything that had happened.

  But Benny figured she’d be all right. Everything he’d told her tonight was true. Jess was tough and smart and she’d done well in trusting Tex to bring his team to their rescue. She’d been put in a horrible situation that neither he, nor any of the other guys had even thought about. They hadn’t thought someone would use them to lure the more vulnerable women into a dangerous situation. They’d have to do some soul searching about that. They’d all thought tracking the women would keep them safe, but it was obvious they’d missed the huge flaw in that thinking. Brian was an idiot, but he’d managed to find the one thing that would present Jessyka to him as if on a silver platter. Jess had done the best she could in a fucked up situation, and the bottom line was that she’d trusted Tex and the rest of the team to get to both of them in time. Thank god they had.

  Benny held Jess long into the morning as the room slowly brightened. He watched her breathe in and out and he never felt happier. She was alive. He was alive. They loved each other. He felt like the luckiest man alive.

  Chapter Twenty

  “You know you were a bonehead, right?” Wolf asked Benny, completely relaxed with one arm thrown over Caroline’s shoulders as they sat at a table in Aces a week after Benny’s kidnapping.

  “Shut it,” Benny responded to his team leader and friend.

  “Seriously,” Dude joined in, not willing to let it go. “I wasn’t allowed to go into that basement and get Shy out by myself, I don’t know why you think you’re superman or something and could rush in singlehandedly and save your woman.” Dude’s words were teasing, but they all knew there was more than a kernel of truth to them.

  “Look, I could sit here and give you all a load of shit about how I thought I had it under control and how it wouldn’t have been a big deal if I hadn’t been taken by surprise, but we all know that’s a load of crap. I fucked up. I admit it. I should’ve immediately called one of you, or hell, even Tex, to see what the situation was. I’ve been trained better than that. Hell, if anyone on one of my teams did that shit I’d have blown a gasket on them.”

  Benny looked down at Jess. She had one hand resting on his thigh and he could feel the heat from her hand burning into his leg. He almost lost her. She’d had to do the unthinkable and kill a man, because he ignored all his training and leaped before he looked. “All I can say is that when Brian said that Jess was in danger, I could think of nothing but getting to her as fast as I could.”

  His teammates all nodded, knowingly. They’d all been there. They understood better than anyone else. “But I’ve learned my lesson. No more lone wolf shit from here on out. Even if, God forbid, this happens again. We’re a team. Always. We all need each other. I won’t forget again.”

  “See that you don’t,” was Abe’s response. His harsh words were tempered with a smile. Benny relaxed, glad the well-deserved ass kicking was out of the way.

  “I have no idea how I got so lucky to be sitting here with all of you today,” Jessyka told the men and women around her honestly and with emotion clear in her voice. “I mean, I always knew the military was a close-knit group, but I had no idea it’d be like this.”

  When Caroline went to say something, Jess held up her hand to stop her and continued speaking. “I saw you week after week in the bar. I watched as each of you guys,” she motioned to the men, “found a woman who was perfect for you. Abe, you always put the women you dated first, but they obviously didn’t care about you. Then you found Alabama. I watched as she made sure you had refills of your beer, she ordered you food when you came to the bar after working all day, she even made you go home before everyone else when she knew you were tired.”

  Jess watched as Alabama leaned her head against Abe’s shoulder and he kissed the top of it and turned his attention back to her. “And you, Cookie. You had to go all the way to Mexico to find Fiona, but you were tenacious in your quest to make sure she always felt safe. In return, she always does her best to give you what you need, whether that be giving you the chair against the wall, or a shoulder rub when you’re tense. Mozart, you were suffering. You held a grudge against everyone and it was obvious to see. Summer helped you let that go and cling to love instead. In the end, your love for her was more important than revenge for yourself.”

  Jessyka hurried to finish. The looks the guys were giving her were going to make her start bawling any second now.

  “And Dude, I know you never realized it, but you never used your left hand for anything, you always kept it in your lap. You didn’t realize that the fact you only have part of a hand didn’t mean jack squat to anyone around you, and if it did, they weren’t good enough for you anyway. Cheyenne was made for you. She never saw you as incomplete or wounded. She only sees your heart.

  “Caroline, you and Wolf were the catalyst that started all of this.” At their looks of amusement she continued. “I know, you think I’m crazy, but I wanted to be just like you guys. The other guys here did too. They saw what a good, healthy relationship was supposed to be like. Shortly after you moved here, the rest of the guys stopped being such horn dogs and started paying attention to what they really wanted in their lives.

  “I knew you were all friends, but I thought that was as far as it went. I had no idea that not only are you all friends, you’re family as well. I wanted to be a part of this, but never in a million years dreamed I would be, not like this.” Jess turned to Kason. “I love you so damn much. I’d do anything for you. I’d walk right into the hands of a crazy psycho every day of my life if it meant keeping you safe.”

  Benny growled at her and lean
ed over and lifted Jess into his lap so she was sitting sideways and still facing their friends.

  Jess continued talking from within Kason’s arms. “I used to think that therapy was for wimps.” When Hunter looked like he was going to say something, Jess continued quickly. “And I thought I’d be fine after what happened . . . but thanks to Fiona urging me, and some soul searching, I’ve realized that it’s okay to need to talk to someone about what happened. My situation is way different than Fiona’s, and Alabama’s, and Summer’s and even yours, Cheyenne, but just because I find talking to the doctor about what I did, and what Brian and his sister did, soothing, doesn’t mean I’m crazy or that I’ll need to see a shrink for the rest of my life. I have more respect for the eleven of you sitting around this table than I ever have for anyone in my entire life.”

  Jessyka took a deep breath, glad she’d said what she needed, and wanted, to say before anyone could interrupt her. The couple of visits to Fiona’s therapist had helped a lot, even though she didn’t think, at first, she needed to see her. She’d most likely continue to see her to talk through everything that happened, but for now, she was good with everything.

  “I think, however, that we’ve all had enough drama in our lives. Can we please, maybe, just live like normal people without being lost, kidnapped, or used for someone’s revenge for at least a few weeks? I mean, what else could we go through?” Jess finished exasperatedly.

  Everyone moaned and shook their heads.

  “Jesus, Jess, you can’t say that shit,” Cookie groaned. “Seriously, you’ve just jinxed us.”

  “No way, we’re through. We’re destined to live easy-going normal lives from here on out. After all, we’ve all found men of our own, we’re good,” Caroline said this as if she was laying down the law.

  “That’s true. Now that we’ve found our men and settled down, we shouldn’t have any more drama,” Cheyenne agreed with Caroline.

  “We haven’t all found our mate though,” Jess pointed out.