Defending Allye Page 18

  She felt his fingers press into her body, making sure she was ready for him. He might like rough sex, but he always made sure she was wet and willing before he took her. He apparently was satisfied with what he found, because before she knew it, she felt the head of his cock pressing against her pussy.

  With one hard thrust, he was suddenly inside her. Groaning, Allye threw her head back and closed her eyes. The slight burn made her forget everything but him.

  “No. Look at me, kitten,” Gray ordered.

  Allye was helpless to do anything but respond to the order in his tone. She picked her head up and looked into his eyes.

  “That’s it, kitten. Let me see those beautiful eyes. Fuck, you’re gorgeous, you know that?”

  She couldn’t answer, as he was thrusting powerfully in and out of her. Making her take all of him. Chasing away the demons that were trying to suck her under.

  He reached out and grabbed a pillow, shoving it under her head, making it easier for her to keep her eyes on his. He put one hand next to her shoulder and leaned down, his gaze piercing into hers.

  Each thrust moved her body up and down the bed, but she felt grounded by the intense look in Gray’s eyes. His other hand moved between them, and he caught her clit between his thumb and forefinger. Every time he pushed inside her, he squeezed his fingers together, and when he pulled back, he relaxed his grip on her extremely sensitive bundle of nerves.

  Between his unrelenting pounding into her body and his assault on her clit, she was on the edge of orgasm within seconds.

  “You gonna come for me, kitten?”

  “Mmm-hmmm,” she managed, words beyond her.

  “Don’t close your eyes,” he ordered. “Look at me as I push you over the edge.”

  And with that, he pinched his fingers together tight enough that it would’ve hurt if she wasn’t so turned on, and he shoved himself so far inside her, Allye swore she could feel him at the entrance to her cervix . . . and she came.

  Her eyes closed into slits, but she never shut them all the way, keeping her gaze on the man who owned her heart.

  As soon as her breathing slowed, Gray pulled back and sat on his heels. He reached for her and turned her onto her stomach. Then he grabbed her hips and forced her backward.

  “Reach down and put me back inside, kitten.”

  Allye immediately did as he ordered, getting in one long caress before he warned, “Allye,” in a deep cautionary tone. She notched his cock head at her opening, and he immediately pressed back inside her. He pulled her onto his lap, her legs spread on either side of his thighs.

  She couldn’t move, and neither could he with the way she was sitting on him. She squirmed, wanting more. Needing more.

  One arm wrapped around her waist, and the other went to where they were joined. She could feel how wet she was. Her excitement was smeared on her thighs, and now his too.

  He held her to him for a while, petting her clit, pinching her nipples, and generally working her back up to an excited, frustrated frenzy. His cock pulsed deep inside her, and she moaned.

  Finally, either reaching the end of his own control, or maybe he was just taking pity on her, Gray lay back. She was facing his feet, and started to turn around to ride him, but his hands stopped her. “Like this, kitten. Take me exactly like this.”

  It wasn’t a position they’d done before, and she was unsure at first. Gray pushed on her back until she leaned forward, bracing herself on his shins. He slapped her ass once, then did it again when she froze.

  “Ride me, Allye. Take me hard. Make me come.”

  So she did. He didn’t allow her to be on top very often, and once she started lifting herself up and down on his shaft, she realized that he touched her differently inside this way. Whether it was the way she was bent over, or how his cock was rubbing a different spot than it usually did, it felt amazing.

  Before long, she was frantically humping him, trying to go faster while at the same time trying to get him deeper. She was getting frustrated because she knew she was on the verge of coming, but needed to rub her clit in order to do so. But she couldn’t touch herself and stay balanced at the same time.

  Seeming to understand her predicament, Gray said, “Kneel over me. Touch yourself, and I’ll do the rest of the work.”

  Trusting him, Allye did as he suggested. She sat up straight, and slid her knees out a little more. The position gave him a little room to thrust, and more important, allowed her easy access to the small bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

  Gray took hold of her hips with his hands and began to pound into her, much as he did when he took her from behind. Her breasts bobbed up and down with each thrust, and she frantically rubbed herself. Within seconds, she was shouting out her release, and would’ve collapsed if Gray hadn’t been holding her above him. He pounded into her without mercy for another dozen or so thrusts before pulling her down on him and groaning. He held her locked to him for a heartbeat before pulling her upper body backward.

  Allye gave him her weight, knowing he’d catch her. She lifted her hips as she shifted, not wanting to break his dick in half, and moaned when his heat left her. As soon as she was on her side and they were facing each other, Gray reached down and put himself back inside her. He was only semihard, but it was enough for her to sigh in contentment.

  Her entire crotch felt soaked, but she was so relaxed and sated, she didn’t care.

  “Fuck, I love you,” Gray breathed, more to himself than her.

  But she heard it.

  And upon hearing his words, she knew everything would be all right. With Gray’s love, they could get through anything. They were a team. No sex-slaver/kidnapper/killer could come between them. No way. No how.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “You are not going to San Francisco,” Gray said a week later, his arms crossed over his chest. “No way. No how. Not as long as I’m breathing.”

  “Gray,” Allye said, trying to placate him, but he wasn’t to be swayed.

  “I said no, Allye. I’m not going to let you go back there only to be kidnapped and killed like your friends were!”

  “But he got to Robin,” Allye said softly. “She’s my mentor. My boss. My friend. I know if you’re with me, I’ll be safe.”

  “No,” Gray said for the thousandth time.

  “I know you’re worried about me, but if we talk to the guys, they’ll think of something that will help keep me safe.”

  “Do you remember when I told you about what happened to me, what ultimately made me quit the SEALs?” Gray asked in a harsh tone. Allye didn’t even recognize this Gray, and he was scaring her.

  “Yes, Gray, but—”

  “How I had to sit there and watch those bastards hurt a woman right in front of me?”

  “Yes,” Allye tried again. “But this isn’t—”

  “They wanted me to do something I didn’t want to do. Tell them something I didn’t want to tell them. And they were hurting others in order to achieve that. That’s what’s happening here, Allye. Nightingale is doing the exact same thing to you. He’s trying to use them to get to you. But you know what? Back then, when I was in that fucking joke of a house, I knew all along that if I broke, and I told those assholes what they wanted to hear, they were going to beat and rape those women and kill me anyway. They just wanted me to suffer. That’s it. It’s the same thing Nightingale is doing. He’s not going to let Robin go if you return to San Francisco. He’s going to use her to make you suffer. Probably torture her in front of you. So there’s no point in you going back. If you do, you’re signing your death warrant.”

  “And if I don’t, I’m signing Robin’s,” Allye protested.

  First thing that morning, they’d gotten word that Robin had been reported missing an hour earlier. Her boss. The woman who had been nothing but supportive and understanding and sympathetic to Allye. She’d agreed it was a good idea to stay in Colorado Springs for the time being. And now she was gone.

  Rex had cal
led and suggested that maybe it would be best if Allye went back to San Francisco. Maybe then, Nightingale would hold off on killing Robin.

  Allye had been arguing with Gray ever since.

  It was nearing midmorning . . . and he’d gotten colder and colder with every minute their discussion continued.

  “She’s going to die either way,” he said between clenched teeth.

  His voice was so unfeeling, and Allye hated it. Hated the harsh words coming out of his mouth.

  “I thought we had something good going here,” Gray told her, his eyes narrowed.

  “We do,” Allye insisted.

  “And you’re willing to just throw it all away. Give yourself over to someone who will abuse you, treat you like shit, and eventually kill you.”

  Goose bumps broke out on Allye’s arms at Gray’s words.

  “No.”

  “If you leave, that’s what you’re doing. You’re saying that our relationship is worth less than this asshole. That you’d rather die than trust me to keep you safe.”

  “Gray!” Allye said sharply. “You’re twisting things around. That’s not what I’m saying. Just because I want to keep my friends from dying doesn’t mean that I don’t love you!” The words just spilled out. She hadn’t really meant to say them now, in the middle of this huge fight, but now that they were out there, she was glad.

  He snorted. “Love? Love isn’t walking into a firefight without a gun. Love isn’t being stupid by walking into the clutches of a man who wants to enslave and possibly kill you. Love isn’t saying ‘I love you’ one second, and turning your back on that love the next.” He clutched her shoulders. “If you loved me, you would stay here. With me. Safe.”

  Allye swallowed hard. She hadn’t thought Gray was a selfish man. After everything he’d done for her. The danger he’d been in when he’d climbed aboard that boat. After hearing about the other missions he’d been on. She hadn’t once thought he was selfish. But hearing him so easily dismiss the lives of others . . . of Robin, her other friends . . . her heart hurt. She knew he’d been through something awful, but it wasn’t the same as what Nightingale was doing. The difference was that Gray hadn’t known the women who had been tortured in front of him.

  “He’ll just continue to kidnap, torture, and kill other people if I don’t go,” she implored. “I’m asking—no, I’m begging you, Gray. If you have any feelings for me at all, come with me. Help keep me safe while we figure out how to trap this guy. I’m not all that thrilled at being bait, but I’ll do it if it’ll stop the killing. If you’re with me, I know I can get through it without being scared out of my skull.”

  “I can’t,” Gray said in defeat, dropping his hands.

  He took a step away from her, and Allye’s heart broke in two.

  “I can’t be put in the same situation I was in when I was a SEAL. How do you think I’d feel if I was helpless to do anything, and you were the one being tortured in front of me? Did you think about that? I can’t go through that again. I won’t. Not even for you. Not for anyone.”

  “But it won’t be just you and me. The other guys will be there too. We can work together to stop him,” Allye pleaded. She couldn’t let this go. Couldn’t let this be the end of them.

  “You can’t guarantee that,” Gray said softly.

  “And you can’t guarantee that I won’t be hit by a car tomorrow or that I won’t have a sudden heart attack. Life isn’t guaranteed, Gray. We have to live the life we’re given to the fullest. If I did nothing, stayed here and let more and more people die, what kind of life would I have?”

  “At least you’d be alive to live it,” he responded.

  Allye stared at the man whom she loved with all her heart. He wasn’t going to change his mind.

  She was terrified to go back to California, but she would’ve been stronger with him by her side. Protecting her. Guiding her. Giving her advice on what she should and shouldn’t do. He was the expert, not her. But he was disappointing her right now. When things got tough, he wanted her to hide out and think only of herself. She couldn’t do it.

  He didn’t know her. Not if he thought she’d be okay with staying here while others suffered.

  Knowing the answer she was going to get, she still tried once more. “Please come with me, Gray. Be by my side, like you’ve been almost since this started. Help me swim the last ten miles to shore. I can do it if you’re with me. Without you, I’ll end up being eaten by sharks.”

  “No,” he said wearily. “I won’t have anything to do with you offering yourself up on a silver platter to that asshole. If you go, you’re on your own. I honestly thought you were the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. You know why I have this huge house? Because I want kids. Lots of them. And for the first time, I thought I’d found the woman I wanted to give me those children. But if you’re willing to give up our future, our kids, you aren’t the woman I thought you were.”

  They stared at each other for a long moment.

  Allye felt the tears well up from somewhere hidden. From a place she’d buried so deeply, she hadn’t thought it would ever come to light again.

  Water filled her eyes and spilled over. She didn’t take her gaze from Gray’s. The tears flowed as if a faucet had been turned on inside her. They dripped from her cheeks onto the floor, and still neither of them moved.

  She didn’t bother asking him again. Begging him. He’d broken her heart, and it would never be the same. Talking about children was a low blow. He knew how she felt about them. They’d talked about it one night. How she was scared to have kids because she’d never had a good role model for a mother.

  He’d reassured her that she’d make a wonderful mother. That she was amazing with the children at the dance studio. They all loved her. He’d even said that her experiences growing up would serve as a reminder of what not to do with her own children and would make her a better mother.

  Now the dream of ever having kids had withered and died with his words.

  He stared at her, his face impassive, before he turned and headed for the garage.

  Allye heard his car start up and the garage door close as he left. And still the tears came. Twenty years’ worth of pent-up emotions flowed out of her eyes. Even as she turned and grabbed her cell phone, the tears fell.

  She texted the one person she knew would help her end the killings once and for all. Rex.

  Gray might not help her, but she knew Rex would. He wanted to find and kill Nightingale even more than the rest of the team did.

  Yeah, Rex and the other guys would help her. It would suck doing it without Gray’s support, but she was damned if she did and damned if she didn’t.

  She couldn’t stay, knowing she was signing countless death warrants. Couldn’t have that on her conscience. But she also knew Gray would hate her if she left. Knew he wouldn’t easily forgive her. Even if she did live through whatever was waiting for her in San Francisco, she and Gray wouldn’t get back together. He’d turned his back on her, and she was defying him. They were done.

  Gray drove around aimlessly for quite a while before deciding to take the winding road up to Pikes Peak. He hadn’t been up there for years, and today seemed like a good day for it. As the road twisted and curved upward, he thought about Allye.

  Maybe he’d moved too fast with her. He’d certainly been attracted to her from the very beginning, but lust didn’t make a good relationship foundation, obviously.

  Hadn’t she heard him when he’d told her what had happened that day so long ago over in Afghanistan? How he’d felt? Hadn’t she understood what it had done to him to be helpless, to watch women be tortured and abused in front of him?

  By refusing to allow her to go back to California, he was saving her from feeling the same anguish. She might be upset now, but she’d see reason. She had to.

  He parked the car and got out, amazed anew at how thin the air seemed at fourteen thousand feet. He bypassed the small gift shop and restaurant and headed for the
boulders off to the side. He sat about ten feet below the only building on the mountain and gazed down at the city of Colorado Springs.

  It was a beautiful day. There were big, white, fluffy clouds lazily floating by, and the sky was a bright blue. It was the kind of day that made you happy to be alive. Gray almost wished it was cloudy and rainy; it would fit his mood better.

  He glanced at his watch. He’d been gone for a couple of hours. He knew he probably should get back, but he couldn’t make himself move yet. He didn’t want to fight with Allye. He just wanted to keep her safe. And going back to California was definitely not safe.

  Gray was so lost in his head, he didn’t hear or see the little boy approaching until he was sitting right beside him.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hey,” Gray replied.

  “Whatcha doin’?”

  “Just thinking.”

  “Hmmm. Isn’t this cool?” the little boy asked, using his arm to indicate the view in front of him.

  “It sure is.”

  “My house is over there,” he said, pointing off to the south. “We moved here two years ago. Before we lived here, we were in Georgia and Washington and California. It didn’t snow much there, but here it does. I really liked skiing when we lived in Washington, but we had to drive really far to do it, and it rained a lot. I mean a lot. Is this your first time up here? It’s weird how it’s kinda hard to breathe, huh? My mom says it’s because we’re way up in the air. Did you get sick on your way up here? The road was so curvy, I almost puked, but Mom let me roll down the window and get some fresh air, and I felt better. Do you get carsick? My brother does all the time. It’s why he’s not here today. He totally would’ve barfed if he was in the car. Gross!”

  Gray smiled at the boy’s prattling and nodded distractedly. He continued on, talking about his teacher, his school, how he thought it was unfair that his older brother got the bigger room, and how, after they left the top of Pikes Peak, his mom was going to take him to get an ice cream.