Finding Carly Read online

  “I will,” he said.

  After collecting his duffle bag, he said goodbye to his teammates and headed for his black Volkswagen Jetta in the parking lot. It was a reliable car, but not one that would stick out on the streets or at his apartment complex. Jag liked to fly under the radar, didn’t like to be noticed if he could help it. It was a handy skill to have as a SEAL…though he’d actually learned to dislike attention from a young age.

  Jag sat in his car for a moment, trying to decide what to do. He knew it was way too late to be going over to Carly’s apartment right now, but he wanted to. Needed to see her.

  He reached for his phone and typed out a text before he thought better of it.

  * * *

  Jag: I just got back. You up?

  * * *

  Of course Carly wasn’t up. It was three-thirty in the fucking morning. She was asleep, as were most of the other residents of the island. It was stupid to think—

  Jag blinked in surprise when three dots flashed at the bottom of the text message box. She was up and typing a reply. His heart started beating a bit faster. He was exhausted, as he always was after a mission, but at the moment, he felt as if he could easily stay up another three days without any problem whatsoever.

  * * *

  Carly: I’m up. I’m glad you’re back safe.

  * * *

  Jag wanted to ask why she was awake, but he had a feeling he knew the answer. He was aware that Carly didn’t sleep well. She’d told him once that ever since Kenna had been taken hostage by Shawn Keyes, she could only sleep a few hours a night, too worried that Luke would break into her apartment and finish what his dad started.

  * * *

  Jag: Can I come over?

  Carly: Yes.

  * * *

  One word. Jag felt as if it was a sign of his life changing, hopefully for the better.

  He’d been to Carly’s apartment many times over the last few months, but this felt different somehow. Maybe it was because he’d already decided to do whatever it took to make Carly feel safe again, to help her get her life back. Maybe it was because he’d just gotten off a gnarly mission. Maybe because he was going on seventy-two hours without sleep. Whatever the reason, he felt just as amped up as he would in the middle of a firefight. He couldn’t start his car fast enough.

  He’d never felt this way about a woman before. After—

  No. He wasn’t going there.

  Women weren’t really a part of his life. Never had been, by his own choice. He’d never gone through the phase that a lot of young SEALs had, where they were happy to fuck anyone who showed the least bit interest. He’d never even had a girlfriend. Never wanted one.

  Jag hated thinking about his past, but for once in his life, he mourned not having more experience when it came to women. He wanted to say and do all the right things with Carly, but didn’t know what those things were. He was going to have to wing it—and pray he didn’t make her life more miserable than it already was.

  Taking a deep breath, Jag did his best to calm himself down. He’d just follow Carly’s lead. She’d taken the first step by asking for him to go to the police station with her, he’d see where things went after that.

  Twenty minutes later, Jag pulled into the parking lot of Carly’s apartment complex. It wasn’t in a bad part of Honolulu, but it wasn’t exactly luxury either. The building was three stories high, and Carly was on the top floor, for which he was glad. There was no security and the resident doors were all outward-facing, which meant anyone could walk up to her door without any problem whatsoever.

  It wasn’t ideal in Carly’s situation. Luke could sit right here in the parking lot and watch for her to leave and grab her. It was no wonder she didn’t leave the safety of her apartment. And moving wasn’t exactly a viable solution, as she currently wasn’t working and Jag knew her funds were low.

  Everything about Carly’s situation grated on his nerves, and he was extremely thankful she was ready to make a change. He’d made the decision before his latest deployment to shake things up. To try to encourage Carly to start living again. The relief he felt at getting her text was immense.

  Turning off the engine and reaching for his phone, Jag sent a quick text as he always did when he arrived to see her.

  * * *

  Jag: I’m here. I’ll be at your door in less than a minute.

  * * *

  He didn’t wait for her to respond. He headed up the stairs in the center of the complex. He took them two at a time before striding down the concrete walkway to her door. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hand to knock. But it opened before he could make contact with the wood.

  His first glimpse of Carly made Jag’s heart hurt. She looked like hell. Her hair was limp and greasy around her face, as if it had been several days since she’d showered. She had dark circles under her eyes and wore an oversized T-shirt and a pair of extra-large sweatpants that swam on her petite frame.

  But it was the combination of relief and desperation in her eyes that affected him the most.

  Jag took a step forward, and she backed up. He shut and locked the door behind him, all three deadbolts that he’d put on for her not too long ago to help her feel safer, then he gathered Carly into his arms without saying a word.

  Chapter Two

  Carly had never been so glad to see anyone in her entire life. Making the decision to try to move on with her life wasn’t easy. She was petrified. But the second Jag pulled her into his embrace, she felt as if she could breathe for the first time since…well, since the last time she’d seen him at Kenna’s wedding.

  Her hands clutched the material of Jag’s shirt at his back and she rested her cheek on his chest. His hair had gotten longer since she’d seen him last, almost hanging into his eyes. He had a scruffy almost-beard on his face, and his eyes were bloodshot…but Carly had never seen anyone as handsome in her entire life.

  Jag wasn’t a talkative man. She’d noticed that about him the first time she’d met him at Duke’s. He was content to let conversation flow around him. But she didn’t need words. She just needed his strength. His competence. He made her feel protected simply by being near. It was a mistake to fall for this man, Carly knew it, but she had a feeling it was too late.

  Kenna had told her once that Jag was extremely mysterious. That Aleck had mentioned no one knew much about his childhood or his life before joining the SEALs. But she didn’t care if he was raised by a pack of wolves in Siberia…the man he’d grown into was honorable and trustworthy. Maybe even a bit scary, but frightening only in the sense that Carly knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do harm to anyone who dared hurt someone he cared about. And that was what Carly needed right now. To feel safe. Jag did that for her.

  She felt him shuffling them backward, but she didn’t let go, didn’t lift her head from his chest, wasn’t sure she could. All of a sudden, her sleepless nights seemed to catch up with her. She had no idea what time it was, but she knew it was late…or early. Time had ceased to have meaning for her. She muddled through her days and nights trying not to think about what Luke would do when he finally got his hands on her.

  When she did fall asleep, her dreams were full of terror. Of Shawn yelling at her, telling her she was pathetic and useless. Of blood, as father and son tortured her with knives and laughed as she begged for her life. Needless to say, she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a very long time.

  Jag moved them into her room and took hold of her shoulders, forcing her away from his body. Carly shivered at the loss of contact.

  “You need to use the bathroom?” he asked.

  Carly wanted to smile at how blunt he was. But she didn’t have it in her. She shook her head.

  “I do. It’s been a long day and night for me. Climb in. I’ll be back in a moment.”

  Carly swallowed a protest and nodded, reminding herself that she’d made a decision to stop being so damn cowardly.

  But Jag seemed to read her mind. He leaned down and rested his
forehead on hers. He kept his hands on her shoulders, and Carly couldn’t help but grab hold of his shirt at his sides. They stood like that for at least a minute or two before she took a deep breath.

  “I’m okay,” she whispered.

  Jag lifted his head and studied her. In return, Carly took her own long, hard look at him, as well. She knew she looked rough, but he looked absolutely shattered. She could see the strain around his eyes. His clothes were wrinkled, and he actually swayed in front of her slightly.

  “How long has it been since you’ve slept?” she blurted.

  His lips quirked. “What day is today?” he asked.

  Which answered her question. For the first time in a long time, something shifted deep inside her. She wanted to take care of him, which was kind of ridiculous because Jag was obviously a man who could take care of himself, and everyone around him. But it didn’t stop her from wanting to do it.

  Forcing herself to let go of his shirt, she took a step backward. “Go,” she ordered, gesturing toward her small bathroom with her head. “If you want to shower, feel free.”

  Jag shook his head. “Would take too long,” he muttered. “I’ll be out in a minute or so.”

  He waited until she took a step toward her bed before heading for the bathroom.

  Carly’s heart beat hard and fast in her chest as she pulled back the sheet and climbed onto her bed. She lay back and stared at the mostly shut door across the room. She heard the toilet flush and the water in the sink come on. The unmistakable sound of Jag brushing his teeth met her ears. He’d obviously found the unopened toothbrush she’d gotten the last time she’d been to the dentist and hadn’t used yet…at least she hoped he had. She liked Jag, but the thought of him using her toothbrush was kind of gross.

  But she had no time to think about it anymore when the door opened and the light from the bathroom shut off. Jag reappeared, striding over to the wall next to the entrance and turning off the overhead light.

  Carly blinked in the sudden darkness. She’d been sleeping with the light on, because the dark seemed to overwhelm her. Just when she was about to tell Jag to turn the light back on, he left the room, then she saw a soft glow coming from the hallway. Jag had turned on a light in her living room. When he returned, he kept her bedroom door open, letting just enough light in to make her feel more comfortable.

  To her surprise, he then reached for his shirt. He peeled it off over his head and leaned down to untie his boots.

  “Um, Jag?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What are you doing?”

  He stopped mid-stoop and looked up at her. He slowly straightened. “Getting ready for bed.”

  “Here?” she couldn’t help but ask.

  “Yes.”

  Short and to the point. No beating around the bush.

  “Oh. Okay.” What else could she say? Jag needed rest, and if he wanted to sleep in her bed, she wasn’t going to say no.

  He finished taking off his boots and socks and strode toward her bed still wearing his cargo pants. He reached out to lift the sheet and she blurted, “You aren’t going to take your pants off?”

  His lips twitched, but he shook his head. “No. I feel more comfortable with them on.”

  Carly blinked in surprise. He didn’t say she would feel more comfortable if he left them on, but that he would. She didn’t get a chance to say anything else before he was suddenly lying next to her. Then, without asking, he reached for her and hauled her against his side.

  She found her cheek resting on his chest, and the skin-on-skin contact felt so good. Snuggling into him, Carly tentatively rested her arm across his belly. She felt Jag’s stomach tighten for a moment, before he lay a hand on her forearm and let out a long breath.

  “You have no idea how good this feels,” Jag said softly.

  “Long mission?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  Again. One word said it all.

  “I’m proud of you,” he said after a moment.

  Carly huffed out a small laugh.

  “I am,” he insisted. “Your text was the best thing I’ve ever read. I’m too tired to talk right now, but we’re gonna find him, Carly. You’re gonna get your life back. I swear on it.”

  Carly closed her eyes and did her best not to burst into tears. She’d felt broken for so long. So unlike the Carly she used to be. And she hated it. She did want her life back. It scared her to death, but she couldn’t live like she had been for much longer. Hiding out, panicking over every little sound. Scared of her own shadow.

  If anyone could help her, it was Jag. She knew that down to the tips of her toes.

  “Okay.”

  “Sleep, Carly,” Jag ordered. And there was no doubt it was an order.

  Carly smiled. When was the last time she’d smiled about anything? She couldn’t remember. “Yes, sir,” she quipped.

  “I’m here. You’re safe. Nothing and no one’s getting through me to get to you,” he added.

  His words settled in her soul. Carly was fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, even though being in his arms was one of the most comfortable places she’d ever been in her life, but she nodded anyway.

  Jag’s thumb brushed back and forth over her forearm rhythmically. To her surprise, her muscles relaxed and her eyes closed.

  “That’s it, angel. I’ve got you.”

  “Jag?” Carly mumbled.

  “Right here.”

  “Thanks for coming.”

  “Nothing would’ve kept me away,” he said.

  Carly could’ve sworn she felt him kiss her forehead, but decided she was hallucinating. Jag had never crossed a line between them. Had always treated her like a friend, a buddy.

  Then again, he’d never climbed into bed and held her either.

  Before she could think about it anymore, however, Carly fell into a deep, healing sleep.

  Carly stirred, and when she opened her eyes saw that it was no longer dark outside. The sun was shining so brightly, her cheap curtains weren’t able to keep the light out. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept so late.

  “Good morning,” a deep voice said from next to her. Right next to her. “Or should I say good afternoon?” Jag asked with a chuckle.

  Carly would’ve been alarmed, but she’d known whose arms she was lying in. Coming up on an elbow, she looked at the man next to her.

  His hair was mussed, but his eyes were no longer bloodshot and he looked a hundred times better than he had last night. Grimacing, Carly had a feeling she probably looked a hundred times worse. She couldn’t remember when she’d last showered and her mouth felt like she’d been sucking on cotton balls all night.

  “What time is it?”

  “A little after one,” Jag said.

  “In the afternoon?” Carly squeaked in surprise.

  “Yup.”

  She couldn’t believe she’d slept that long. Or at all. “I slept,” she said in surprise.

  “Yeah, like a rock,” Jag agreed.

  “No, you don’t understand. I haven’t slept since…I don’t know when,” she said. If she hadn’t been so surprised at the late hour, she probably wouldn’t have admitted it. “I didn’t dream at all.”

  “Good,” Jag said sincerely. “We need to talk, but first you can shower, put on some clean clothes, and I’ll make us something to eat.”

  “Um…I don’t know what I’ve got in my kitchen,” Carly admitted.

  Jag’s brows came down. “When’s the last time you went shopping?” he asked.

  Carly wrinkled her nose and shrugged.

  “Carly…” he said in exasperation.

  “I haven’t been hungry,” she told him. “And the last thing I felt safe doing was going to the store. I’ve been using a delivery service. But, um, since I haven’t been working, I’ve had to really watch my budget. I haven’t had an appetite though, so it wasn’t a big deal.”

  Jag’s frown deepened. “Change of plans. Gather some shit toget
her, don’t shower, I’ll take you to my place. You can shower there. I’ll make us breakfast, then we’ll talk.”

  Carly blinked in surprise. “Your place?”

  “Yeah. I’ve got plenty to eat and my shower’s bigger.”

  “I can’t go to your place,” she told him.

  “Why not?”

  Carly opened her mouth to answer, but she couldn’t think of one compelling reason why she needed to stay in her apartment.

  “Exactly,” Jag said a little smugly. “You’ve been holed up here for too long. This place represents fear to you now. A change of venue will do you good. Trust me.”

  Carly stared at the man next to her. The man she’d slept next to. She hadn’t dreamed last night, and she knew it was because she felt safe with him there. He didn’t have to come over. He’d been exhausted…and yet he’d still come.

  And he wasn’t wrong. Her apartment had started out as her refuge. She’d holed up in here and, slowly but surely, the outside world became more and more menacing the longer she hid out. Until her apartment felt more like a prison.

  Carly felt another twinge of anger deep inside. Anger at herself. Anger at Luke. Anger that she’d allowed herself to become so pathetic.

  “Okay,” she blurted.

  The smile that spread across Jag’s lips was all the reward she needed for agreeing to step way outside her comfort zone.

  Jag lifted a hand and cupped her cheek. Carly held her breath as the warmth from his skin seeped into her own. She tilted her head into his hand.

  “It’s going to be all right, angel,” he soothed.

  Carly believed him. She nodded.

  He leaned in and kissed her forehead tenderly before turning and climbing out of her bed. Carly watched as he grabbed the same shirt he’d had on last night and pulled it over his head. The muscles in his stomach flexed and her fingers curled into fists. The visceral reaction to seeing him was surprising. As was the way her thighs clenched together under the sheet.