Shielding Aspen Page 7

  But in her professional opinion, the platoon sergeants were being idiots. They weren’t taking care of the men under their command and were instead driving them into the ground. And while she couldn’t prove it, Aspen suspected Derek was the real driving force behind the over-the-top training.

  Sergeant Vandine, her platoon sergeant, was normally pretty laid-back. But with Derek egging him on, he’d become a hard-ass. She’d dealt with his attitude plenty over the last week, but so had all the other Rangers. When she’d tried to talk to him today, he’d pulled rank and told her if she couldn’t handle what it took to be their combat medic, he’d ask for her to be replaced. That had hurt. A lot. Especially since she’d just been looking after the physical well-being of the men in her platoon.

  She hadn’t known what to expect from Kane when she’d shown up at his house. She’d pretty much been planning on telling him she was too tired to do anything, but the sight of him without a shirt on, his body shining with sweat, had literally left her speechless. He’d realized right away that she was dehydrated and had immediately done his best to fix it…which was more than the men who were supposed to be her teammates.

  She’d drank the water and eaten some of the fruit, feeling better, and had watched him mow his elderly neighbor’s lawn. He’d already worked all day—she knew he was putting in some long hours—and yet he’d still gone out of his way to do something nice for his neighbor. Then he’d tucked her into his bed and left her there to sleep.

  Not for one second had she been worried he’d take advantage of her while she was asleep and vulnerable. She may not have known him long, but she felt safer with him than with her team. Which was depressing as hell, since she’d known them for over two years.

  She’d always admired the camaraderie of the special forces teams, and had been thrilled when she’d made the cut to be a combat medic attached to the Rangers. But the reality had been very different from what she’d thought it would be. Then, as now, she was an outsider, simply because of her gender. It made her more sad than anything else.

  She’d woken up groggy, confused, and hungry. The smell of something delicious permeated the air and she’d moved without thought, following it down the stairs.

  Aspen had never dated a man as selfless as Kane. Now that she thought about it, she’d talked more about herself during their phone calls than he did. He was always asking how she was doing and wanting to know how her day was and about her childhood. He was comforting to talk to, and she never felt as if they talked for as long as they did. One night they’d talked for three and a half hours, and it still felt as if it had been only fifteen minutes or so.

  Now she sat tucked against his side, her belly full, no longer dehydrated, not quite as exhausted as she’d been when she arrived, and she couldn’t think of anywhere she’d rather be.

  She glanced up at Kane, and saw he looked completely relaxed as he watched the game on TV. Looking over at the glass of wine he’d been drinking when she came downstairs, she couldn’t stop the question from escaping her lips. “Wine?”

  He looked down at her and shrugged. “My parents are wine connoisseurs, and I started drinking it with them around age fourteen. I can drink beer, but prefer wine now, actually. What about you?”

  Aspen wrinkled her nose. “I’m a mixed-drink kind of girl. Give me a nice Sex on the Beach or a Malibu Sunset and I’m good to go.”

  “I’ll remember that,” Kane said.

  And Aspen knew he would.

  She was silent for a bit longer, then blurted, “Are you close with your team?”

  As if he understood that she wasn’t just making idle conversation, Kane clicked the mute button on the TV and turned toward her a little, giving her his complete attention. “Yes.”

  “No, I mean, are you close?” Aspen asked.

  “I would gladly give my life for any of my teammates if it came to it,” Kane said solemnly. “And more than that, I’d do the same for Gillian or Kinley, simply because I know how much Trigger and Lefty love them. My team is the family I never had growing up. They don’t always understand me, but I know with one hundred percent certainty that they have my back. Whether that’s on the battlefield, or in a Walmart parking lot at Christmas as we fight for the last shopping cart.”

  Aspen smiled a bit at that last part, but didn’t respond.

  “What happened today?” Kane asked softly.

  “I think I told you before…I decided to join the Army and be a combat medic because of the camaraderie of the teams.”

  Kane nodded.

  “I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, me being a woman, but I truly thought I could overcome any prejudice. That my team would see how good I was at my job and would have my back like you have your team’s, and vice versa.”

  She fell silent, trying to decide how to continue. One thing she liked about Kane was that he didn’t ever interrupt her when she was thinking. Or try to fill an awkward silence.

  “Today started out like the rest of the days this past week. We spent some time inside going over the latest intel from overseas and what our role might be if we’re deployed. Except I think we all know it’s not a matter of if, but when. We headed out to the trucks at about ten and drove to the little town that’s erected north of the main post. We went through scenario after scenario for hours. It was hot, and we hadn’t had a break for lunch. Derek and Sergeant Vandine kept pushing us, and of course the teams just went along with whatever they said.

  “It was around three-thirty, and two of the guys on my team had run out of water and they didn’t look good at all. Hell, none of us were faring very well, lying in the dirt in the sun, and I said something about it to Sergeant Vandine. I suggested that we needed a break, that we were on the verge of heat exhaustion. I thought for a second he was going to agree with me, but then he saw Derek was listening and so he lambasted me in front of everyone.

  “He told me that he wasn’t surprised I’d wussed out. Said that I was a weak link on the team who was going to get everyone killed when we went to Afghanistan. I waited for Sergeant Vandine to stick up for me, to tell him to back off…but he didn’t.” Aspen looked down at her hands and picked at a hangnail.

  Kane covered her hands with his own and said, “What did the guys on your team do?”

  Aspen looked up at him. His voice sounded calm, but there was an undercurrent that she couldn’t read. “Nothing.”

  “What do you mean, nothing?” Kane asked, no longer calm.

  She shrugged. “Nothing. They just kinda listened in, but didn’t say anything. But it’s okay. I mean, they didn’t ask me to speak up, and the last thing they needed was Derek’s wrath coming down on them.”

  “No,” Kane said flatly. “Fuck no. First, you’re the medic. You have the team’s best interests at heart. If you say they need a break, they need a break. You’re not some greenhorn straight out of basic training. You know what being a Ranger is about. Hell, you went through the same training they did. Second, a good leader wouldn’t push his or her team to the edge of collapse. It’s stupid, and it’s inviting an ambush or the risk of his troops being taken captive. Third—and this is the most important—a team sticks up for a teammate when they’re right. And you were right.”

  Aspen closed her eyes and sagged into Kane’s side. Her eyes teared up again, and she did her best to keep from crying. Some super-soldier she was, crying for God’s sake. If Derek could see her now, she’d just prove him right, that she couldn’t cut it as a special forces combat medic.

  “Stop it,” Kane ordered.

  Surprised, Aspen looked up at him. “Stop what?”

  “Stop thinking about that asshole and what he might think. You aren’t a robot. Neither are the others on your team. You were trying to do the job your platoon sergeant wasn’t. Namely, looking out for the best interests of the men at your side. That’s what a good leader is all about, Aspen. Making the hard decisions even when it’s obvious they won’t be readily accepted.”

  T
hat did it. The tears spilled over and coursed down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she choked out, twisting her neck to wipe her face on her shoulder.

  Kane’s hand went to her chin and he turned her back toward him. “Don’t ever be sorry for showing emotion, elskling. People think soldiers are machines, when in reality we probably feel more than the average person. We see more. Experience more heartbreak and fear. We feel guilty about the things we have to do, and horror movies have nothing on what we’ve seen in real life. Go ahead and cry—but don’t cry over that asshole or how he treated you. He’s not worth even one of your tears.”

  Feeling as if she’d finally found someone who truly understood her, Aspen cried harder. She soaked Kane’s shirt, but he didn’t seem bothered in the least. He stroked her hair and held her close as she released the emotions that had been building up within her for the last week. Sadness, frustration, and anger at the refusal of the platoon sergeants to see what was right in front of their faces.

  “And as for your team not having your back…I’m sorry,” Kane said after she’d stopped crying. “It sucks because from everything I know about you, I’m certain you’re a damn good medic and they should be thanking their lucky stars you’re in their platoon.”

  “I could suck,” Aspen told him.

  “You don’t,” he said with such conviction, Aspen couldn’t help but tear up again. “I don’t know the men you work with, but I’m going to try to give them the benefit of the doubt. They were suffering from heat exhaustion, like you were. They’re probably nervous about being deployed and it’s very stressful to train for a situation you know will most likely be nothing like what you expect. Peer pressure is also a very hard thing to overcome. I bet some of them came up to you when you got back to base and thanked you for saying something, didn’t they?”

  Aspen nodded. “Yeah. It seemed as if they felt bad about not sticking up for me.”

  “Right. There you go,” Kane said.

  She looked at the man who was holding her and saw that his jaw was still tight. “You would’ve said something.”

  He immediately nodded.

  “And so would your team.”

  He nodded again.

  Aspen snuggled closer, pushing one arm behind his back and throwing the other around his belly. Her knees were pulled up and resting on his thigh. She was practically sitting in his lap, but she didn’t care. She was comfortable and more relaxed than she’d been all week. “That’s what I want. It’s why I joined the Army.”

  “And you’re not getting it,” Kane concluded.

  “No. And it makes me really sad.”

  “Do you think you’d get it in another job?” he asked.

  Aspen shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not, but at least now I can lower my expectations.”

  “I hate that for you,” Kane said.

  Before Aspen could comment, he continued.

  “I’m not a fortune teller. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next month. But one thing I do know, if this thing between us works out…if we keep seeing each other and get closer, you’ll have that with me and my team.”

  Aspen looked at him in surprise.

  “I mean it,” he said, his hazel eyes piercing in their intensity. “Gillian and Kinley are amazing, and I think you’ll click with them. And if you need anything, anything at all, all you have to do is call Trigger. Or Lefty, Oz, Lucky, Doc, or Grover. They’ll come, no questions asked.”

  “Team Brain, huh?” she asked, needing to make a joke otherwise she was going to start bawling all over again.

  “Hell yeah,” Kane told her.

  “Elskling?” she asked, remembering what he’d called her earlier.

  Kane’s gaze dropped from hers. “Norwegian.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” she told him. “I like it.”

  “Only a nerd knows how to say ‘darling’ in two dozen languages,” he retorted.

  “Well, I know the drip rate for two hundred milliliters of lactated Ringer’s IV solution is fifty drops per minute for one hour, so if you’re a nerd, then I am too. Us nerds have to stick together.”

  Aspen loved the smile that formed on Kane’s lips. He really was beautiful, inside and out. But she didn’t think she’d tell him that. Macho Delta Force operatives probably wouldn’t like to be called beautiful.

  “You working tomorrow?” he asked after a while.

  “No. We actually have the day off, but we have to go in on Sunday. There’s supposed to be another meeting about our possible deployment.”

  Kane wrinkled his nose, and Aspen couldn’t help but laugh. “I know. But the good thing is that it won’t be a six-month rotation or anything. They’re saying two months. They’re hoping that’ll be enough time for the Rangers to track down the guy causing the latest problems. Cut the head off the snake and all that.”

  “That’s good,” Kane said. “You gonna write?”

  “To you?” Aspen teased.

  “No, my neighbor, Winnie,” Kane teased right back.

  “I might if I had her email.”

  “She doesn’t have email,” Kane told her. “Maybe I should give you mine, and I can pass on messages to her.”

  “Sounds good,” Aspen said with a smile. She loved this. Loved kidding around with Kane. Loved being serious with him. She just flat-out enjoyed everything about him.

  “Since you don’t have to work tomorrow, want to watch a movie?”

  “You’d give up football to watch a movie with me?” she asked.

  “Of course…I can tape the game.”

  Aspen burst out laughing. “On one condition.”

  “Name it,” Kane told her.

  “I get to pick the movie.”

  He groaned comically. “Fine, but you drive a hard bargain. I can’t promise not to start snoring in your ear if you pick something completely awful.”

  “Would I pick something awful?” Aspen asked, pretending to be offended.

  In response, Kane reached over and grabbed the remote off the coffee table in front of them and handed it to her without a word.

  Brain held Aspen close and closed his eyes. She’d fallen asleep about halfway through Real Genius. He’d always loved the eighties movie, especially since it featured a group of super-smart teens.

  He was still pissed way the hell off at Aspen’s team. How dare they let her take all the flack from that dimwit Derek. He wasn’t even their sergeant, and yet the assholes still didn’t stick up for her.

  He hadn’t lied; he had the utmost respect for medics, and he’d bet a million bucks that the Rangers wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss her simply because she was a woman when they were lying on the ground with their legs blown off from an improvised explosive device. No, they’d be crying out for Aspen to save them, not caring what danger it put her in.

  Taking a deep breath and trying to control his ire, Brain glanced at Aspen. She’d scooted down and was currently using his thigh as a pillow. He’d been running his fingers through her hair for the last hour and had no desire to stop or move. He was glad she was getting some sleep. She obviously needed it.

  He hated that she’d probably be deployed soon, but he understood it was part of her job, as it was his. There would come a time when he’d be called up for a mission, and he’d have to leave her behind.

  Stopping his thoughts in his tracks, Brain shook his head. He was getting way ahead of himself. They’d just started dating…at least he thought they were dating. They’d only hung out twice, but because of how much they’d spoken on the phone, he felt as if they were getting pretty close.

  She just seemed to get him. Maybe it was because she was in the Army as well. Maybe it was just who she was. Whatever it was that made their connection seem so intense…Brain liked it. He liked her.

  Closing his eyes and listening to the scene in the movie where the laser focused on Jerry’s house and the hundreds of pounds of popcorn began popping, Brain did his best to relax. He couldn’t con
trol the future, but he could enjoy the present.

  He’d just close his eyes for a few minutes. Then when the movie was over, he’d wake Aspen, get some coffee into her so she’d be safe to drive home, then he’d follow her to make sure she got there all right. He loved having her at his place, but she’d probably want to go home to her own bed soon.

  The last thing Brain remembered thinking before he fell asleep was how much he’d liked seeing Aspen sleeping in his bed.

  Chapter Five

  Aspen woke up slowly. She was so comfortable that she didn’t want to move. In fact, even thinking about moving was extremely abhorrent. She was sore all over from a week of training, and opening her eyes, getting up, showering, and going into work was the last thing she wanted to do. Eventually she realized that she didn’t have to work today, but she still didn’t want to get up.

  It wasn’t until her pillow moved that it finally clicked where she was and why she was so comfy.

  Kane.

  Her eyes popped open and she tilted her head back, staring right into Kane’s hazel eyes.

  “Hey,” he said, his voice low and raspy from disuse.

  “Hey,” she repeated.

  “Sleep all right?”

  Aspen nodded. “Amazingly so. But don’t ask me to move too fast this morning.”

  He smiled. “Sore?”

  “All over,” she admitted.

  “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he told her.

  Aspen was pleased that he didn’t beat around the bush. She was surprised, but not upset, to realize she and Kane were still on his couch and had obviously been there all night. “It’s okay,” she said.

  “Seriously. I had grand plans of waking you up, getting some coffee into you so you’d be safe driving home, then following you to your apartment to make sure you got there all right.”

  Aspen stared at him for a second without commenting.

  “What?” he asked.

  “You were going to follow me home?”

  “Of course. Why does that surprise you?”